Dad, why do you feel the need to hurt me?Dad, why do you feel the need to drink so hard that you break a closet door?Dad, why do you feel the need to do things that scary me?Dad, why do you feel the need to hurt me?Ever since I can remembered, I've been terrified of you,You're like the monster from my childhood nightmares,I remember all of the times I've seen you hardcore drunk or hung-over,Dad, why do you feel the need to take drugs just to go to sleep?Dad, why do you feel the need to say vulgar things?Dad, why do you feel the need to hurt me?I remember what you said to me when I was only 5 'all I ever wanted was a son who was good at sports' and that was the opposite of me….and because of that I spent years hating myself,Trying to please you, but only failing hard,I remember when I was 7 years old and terrified of snakes….so what do you do? Wiggle a dead snake right in front of my face…I couldn't sleep for daysDad, why do you feel the need to make so many bad choices?Dad, why do you feel the need to crush my dr
The Salvation of EmptinessI feel empty inside….almost. The only thing there is regret and insecurity.It's close to be completely, but not quite there. But I wish I was empty. I wish I didn't have to feel this way, I wish all of these horrible feelings were gone, but I know that will never happen and that happiness will crumble and these feelings will haunt me and drag me down forever.Just when I thought everything was going to be okay for a long time, everything fell apart for no reason, and these feelings continued to stab me in the back.Feelings are too strong for their own good…..they ruin lives.My feelings ruin my life….feelings ruin everything, always have and always will.Life is just a huge lie that won't go away….just like the lie that feelings are helpful.I feel empty inside…..almost. The only thing there is anxiety and hurt.All because feelings always return things to the darkness…..